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Survival

by Wares

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    "Survival" on classic black vinyl, pressed in Vancouver, BC and limited to 400 copies

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    "Old Computer" coloured cassettes in a recycled cardboard cassingle sleeve. Limited to 200 copies

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  • Compact Disc (CD) + Digital Album

    "Survival" on CD, comes in a recycled digipak case

    Includes unlimited streaming of Survival via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
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1.
Hands, Skin 01:19
I remember his hands seeking grip to hold. Heat meets tension under uniform. Secret breath stealing sight and sound, I remember his form took the words right out of my mouth. Nobody around to walk through the open door, I left my body behind taking only what I could afford. It doesn't haunt me now, like it did before. Sometimes in visions I'll go and visit the room to find him sleeping alone, and I'll know that taste again as I tear at the skin. I'll know his body is broken before they drag me  away from him.
2.
Tall Girl 04:43
I saw you around, passed in the hall. I tried to define my gaze apart from the mob- I wonder could you tell? Even back then I knew well enough, but to say it out loud, there was no one to trust. Especially back then, men so crude and unkind. I can't imagine how hard, girl, you fought just to survive. I regret not getting to know you better. A friend of a friend, so it turned out. when we finally met, I barely opened my mouth. Especially back then, I'll bet you had more than enough people taking pieces of you just by chatting you up. I regret not getting to know you better. Last I heard, last I saw, you had a job at the mall. Second floor flower store, you dressed like you ran the show. I'd be so happy to know, that your spirit's not faded. Tall girls never allowed to make it- the piece I took I tried to guard it.
3.
Living Proof 03:22
Rose gold centrefold passed through in a teary haze. Patience paid off, sweet girl, with time enough to savour the weight, lifted like soaked clothes from a shivering frame and held open for the sun to refresh. Fragile, finally able to rest- look at you, you’re living proof. Cold years leading up, clawing at padlocked gates. No effortless incantation, every month you dug your nails deeper and deeper in until they finally gave way. Never in your interest these endurance tests, instead of guiding through the doctors second guess Which path is right for you? Like you’re nothing less Than living proof. Baby they may not stop trying to beat you blue, but now you’ve got something  that nobody can ever Take from you. You’re living proof.
4.
Tether 03:16
Call me to the light, from the spiral down nearly wound airtight. The poison in my mind that says I shouldn’t bother even to try- No, oh no you do me one better. ‘Forget the lies we’re told,  they harm beyond measure.’ Slowly towards the light- something had to change I can’t deny anymore.   The poison in my mind suspending that last step towards the closet door- oh, hold on, I’ll do you one better! Just watch me claw it off, that toxic tether. Coming out alive, living for the future  for the very first time. It can’t be overstated, how lucky I was to have you close beside   when I was feeling so cut off. So tell me twice,  ‘no, hold on, we’ll do you one better than to stay Iocked up inside denied of all pleasure.’ ‘Stumble out, an inch at a time,  change your ways to cast that weight aside. The poison in your mind (x3) won’t wait to try  to pull you under,  so focus on, crawl closer to the ones you love.’
5.
Surrender into waiting arms, give myself to one I admire. Surrender into waiting arms, jump for the chance at a better life, give myself to one I desire. Sure enough, delivered well. Far from harm to some middle ground, free to dive down further still. Drop my shade of innocence, I'll feel no shame when I ask for it. Won't you ask for what you will? Surrender into waiting arms, give myself to one I admire. Surrender now to a flash of charm, feel the current carving up the arm, submit to overwhelming pleasure- tell me baby who's in charge? Free to proclaim, to lust to crave. With each decision  in our power to change, we can give ourselves away. Kiss my lover in the sun, feel my heart pressed  between finger and thumb. Kiss my lover in the sun, feel their heart pressed between finger and thumb.
6.
Jenny Says 04:17
Sitting on the overpass, watching the lights change. The cars go on and on and on. A woman sits to join me and she passes me a match. She says 'I could die tomorrow and it wouldn't change a thing. So why wait 'till tomorrow to do what one could do today?' Hey hey hey. We emptied out her wallet, let the wind carry away the cards, coupons, little things. We called her bank, told them what she thought of her outstanding debt. 'You stupid motherfuckers won't ever see a goddamn cent. You know I'm tired of the hassle and I'm sure you can do the rest.' Yeah yeah yeah. I lit the match she handed me her birth certificate. It curled, smoldered to waste. We stood, she put her hand to my chest and started to cry, you know her hair turned grey to match her eyes. And she said, she said, she said- She asked 'Why's it hurt so much to get out of bed sometimes?’ ‘Why do people scare me so much I can't ever go outside?' I said 'if I knew the answer well it might just make me rich, if I didn’t spend every dollar I had trying to reach you, to lift us up out of this.’ 'We are fresh out of the womb, first to wake from sleep. Something got in us too early now it's too late to repeat, but we can keep each other company.'
7.
Made my bed. Tied to it. You know I don’t mind, never tried to resist. Twist my knuckles back behind my head. Watch the golden hour fade to a red sun set. Undisciplined skin stuck on hold; wouldn’t it be good to give someone complete control? It’d feel so fine I bet, a formal arrangement. Led from under covers far from indolence. Hand over hand, passing the reins; what I wouldn’t give to stop worrying about my path and all the trials ahead? Left to my own devices I barely know where to begin. I could keep laying here for hours, reaching for her lips. Dreaming of a world without ambition,  leaving skin on skin.  Nothing to lose, and never to fear  people moving past  and leaving me there to rot. It’d be so much easier  with her around to call me out, drag me by the collar  to the here and now.  Undisciplined skin stuck on hold, waiting for her to finally take complete control. Hand over hand,  steadily up. Colour returns  with a quickened pulse, up and over and out of this rut. 
8.
Violence 04:18
They all start to run together on a sunny day in June,  the kids all out for blood because there's nothing else to do. Bones all bend, enter the ring clothes gone unwashed for a month. The coach doesn't lift a finger 'til he's sure they've had enough. The boys all watch  each other changing, and pretend they’re not in love. Some long to say the words, some hope it never does come up. If there's anything that's ever made me think twice about the violence in my youth. About the hits we brace to brave that leave the dirty cuts and bruises. Well it's a second past the bell, and eye to eye to still the room- two children overwhelmed  often both too scared to move.  Training sets in, you snap to senses. Seek to touch, harden the skin- do you fall back on your defences, or rely on quick reflexes?
9.
It was suddenly above us,  looming over everything. Murmur in the hearts,  rumbling from the dark  got the glass shaking in its frames.  Helpless rage, surrounded,  with our lashing all starting to slip. No shelter from the sky  we were lying supine,  laughing at the face of it-   just another way to keep on living.   Minute to minute, whatever it takes.  Better now to have us here, taking in the scene. A sunny season out  in a panorama town and we’re higher  than we’ve ever been.  Pressing palms to steady us, swaying like ripened fruit.  She said ‘it just won’t do to go back there, after living up here with you;’ One day I will go under too, free from love and higher truth. I’ll sink down lower  than they thought I could,  free from the surface world. It’s true we can’t escape, we’re left to make peace with it, to fairly meet the end.  ‘The next time we get together’ fair warning,  ‘I won’t settle for a cheap goodbye. Every question sorted, no more cutting any corners  while we’re limping for the finish line.’ One day I will go under too, free from any follow through. I’ll sink down lower than they thought I could, far below the surface world I’ll go. Nothing’s harder to face alone.  sometimes it feels like an empty journey with destination unknown. One day I will go under too, free from heaven and higher truth. I’ll sink down lower, but right this moment  it’s time for me to face the truth we can’t escape, all the consequences of the mess we made. Left to make amends, to freely greet the end.
10.
Survival 03:03
Held a sodden breath, every muscle tensed. Shower running cold over aching shoulders ‘til the dread lets up and you buckle forward. Then you’re slipping out through the ash and smoke. Slow leak siphoning the engine oil, trace a crude path everywhere you go. Everything you do, everything you touch, everyone you love gets used up. It’s a brutal business and it lays you low, like a condom wrapper on a service road. A face you can’t forget, the 19th honourable grifter skid. Treaty 8 burns a tarry lung; the king and the land are one. Burn with all your might against a pipeline’s civil rights. A coughing fit, a motion to buy in, while blaming us for fostering a hostile climate? Everything they do everything they touch, a disposable mindset, we may never survive it. Fight like a dying species rejecting parasitic scum, before everyone you love gets used up. In a capital sick with greed it can already feel too late, I know, but we can’t falter now this fight’s not ours to postpone. Everything they do, everything they touch, a disposable mindset- may they never survive it.  Fight like a dying species rejecting parasitic scum, before everyone you love gets used up.

credits

released April 24, 2020

Recorded mostly at Bikini Bottom, summer 2019 by Mason Pitzel
Mixed in December 2019 by Jesse Gander
Mastered in January 2020 by Ryan Morey

Cover by Kira Buro
Photo by Josh Bookhalter and Charlie Paget

Cassia Hardy: Vocals, guitars, keys, percussion
Jamie McLean: Keys, backup vocals
Matthew Gooding: Bass
Holly Greaves: Drums, percussion, backup vocals
Mason Pitzel: ‘Drums’

Love and thanks to: Ann & Cecil Hardy, Niko Stratis, Jesse Northey, The SMF, The Aviary, The Empress, The Quiltbag, RCYK, Mustafa, Marlaena, Jessica, Trevor McNeeley, Leila Sidi, Mal & Trev, PJ & Erin, Cat & Jaye, Andy & Liz, and everyone who’s hosted us, shared a stage with us, and helped us out on the way.

This record is dedicated to decolonial activists, anti fascist agitators, prairie queers fighting for community and a better life.

Thanks for listening.

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Wares Edmonton, Alberta

Wares is a musical project engineered by Edmonton songwriter Cassia J. Hardy. From teeth rattling electric convulsions to soft-spoken acoustic refrains, the musical inflections explored on each Wares release are as varied as they are enthralling.

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