1. |
Hands, Skin
01:19
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I remember his hands
seeking grip to hold.
Heat meets tension
under uniform.
Secret breath
stealing sight and sound,
I remember his form took the words
right out of my mouth.
Nobody around
to walk through the open door,
I left my body behind
taking only what I could afford.
It doesn't haunt me now,
like it did before.
Sometimes in visions I'll go
and visit the room
to find him sleeping alone,
and I'll know that taste again
as I tear at the skin.
I'll know his body is broken
before they drag me
away from him.
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2. |
Tall Girl
04:43
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I saw you around,
passed in the hall.
I tried to define my gaze
apart from the mob-
I wonder
could you tell?
Even back then
I knew well enough,
but to say it out loud,
there was no one to trust.
Especially back then,
men so crude and unkind.
I can't imagine
how hard, girl, you fought
just to survive.
I regret not getting to know you better.
A friend of a friend,
so it turned out.
when we finally met,
I barely opened my mouth.
Especially back then,
I'll bet you had more than enough
people taking pieces of you
just by chatting you up.
I regret not getting to know you better.
Last I heard,
last I saw,
you had a job at the mall.
Second floor
flower store,
you dressed like you ran the show.
I'd be so happy to know,
that your spirit's not faded.
Tall girls never allowed to make it-
the piece I took I tried to guard it.
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3. |
Living Proof
03:22
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Rose gold centrefold
passed through in a teary haze.
Patience paid off, sweet girl,
with time enough to savour the weight,
lifted like soaked clothes
from a shivering frame
and held open for the sun to refresh.
Fragile, finally able to rest-
look at you,
you’re living proof.
Cold years leading up,
clawing at padlocked gates.
No effortless incantation,
every month you dug your nails
deeper and deeper in
until they finally gave way.
Never in your interest
these endurance tests,
instead of guiding through
the doctors second guess
Which path is right for you?
Like you’re nothing less
Than living proof.
Baby they may not stop trying
to beat you blue,
but now you’ve got something
that nobody can ever
Take from you.
You’re living proof.
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4. |
Tether
03:16
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Call me to the light,
from the spiral down
nearly wound airtight.
The poison in my mind
that says I shouldn’t
bother even to try-
No, oh no
you do me one better.
‘Forget the lies we’re told,
they harm beyond measure.’
Slowly towards the light-
something had to change
I can’t deny anymore.
The poison in my mind
suspending that last step
towards the closet door-
oh, hold on,
I’ll do you one better!
Just watch me claw it off,
that toxic tether.
Coming out alive,
living for the future
for the very first time.
It can’t be overstated,
how lucky I was
to have you close beside
when I was feeling so cut off.
So tell me twice,
‘no, hold on,
we’ll do you one better
than to stay
Iocked up inside
denied of all pleasure.’
‘Stumble out,
an inch at a time,
change your ways
to cast that weight aside.
The poison in your mind (x3)
won’t wait to try
to pull you under,
so focus on,
crawl closer to
the ones you love.’
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5. |
||||
Surrender into waiting arms,
give myself to one I admire.
Surrender into waiting arms,
jump for the chance at a better life,
give myself to one I desire.
Sure enough, delivered well.
Far from harm
to some middle ground,
free to dive down further still.
Drop my shade of innocence,
I'll feel no shame when I ask for it.
Won't you ask for what you will?
Surrender into waiting arms,
give myself to one I admire.
Surrender now
to a flash of charm,
feel the current carving up the arm,
submit to overwhelming pleasure-
tell me baby
who's in charge?
Free to proclaim,
to lust
to crave.
With each decision
in our power to change,
we can give ourselves away.
Kiss my lover in the sun,
feel my heart pressed
between finger and thumb.
Kiss my lover in the sun,
feel their heart pressed
between finger and thumb.
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6. |
Jenny Says
04:17
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Sitting on the overpass,
watching the lights change.
The cars go on and on and on.
A woman sits to join me
and she passes me a match.
She says
'I could die tomorrow
and it wouldn't change a thing.
So why wait 'till tomorrow
to do what one could do today?'
Hey hey hey.
We emptied out her wallet,
let the wind carry away
the cards, coupons, little things.
We called her bank,
told them what she thought
of her outstanding debt.
'You stupid motherfuckers
won't ever see a goddamn cent.
You know I'm tired of the hassle
and I'm sure you can do the rest.'
Yeah yeah yeah.
I lit the match
she handed me her birth certificate.
It curled, smoldered to waste.
We stood,
she put her hand to my chest and started to cry,
you know her hair turned grey
to match her eyes.
And she said,
she said,
she said-
She asked
'Why's it hurt so much
to get out of bed sometimes?’
‘Why do people scare me so much
I can't ever go outside?'
I said
'if I knew the answer
well it might just make me rich,
if I didn’t spend every dollar I had
trying to reach you,
to lift us up out of this.’
'We are fresh out of the womb,
first to wake from sleep.
Something got in us too early
now it's too late to repeat,
but we can keep each other company.'
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7. |
||||
Made my bed.
Tied to it.
You know I don’t mind,
never tried to resist.
Twist my knuckles back
behind my head.
Watch the golden hour fade
to a red sun set.
Undisciplined skin
stuck on hold;
wouldn’t it be good
to give someone
complete control?
It’d feel so fine I bet,
a formal arrangement.
Led from under covers
far from indolence.
Hand over hand,
passing the reins;
what I wouldn’t give
to stop worrying
about my path
and all the trials ahead?
Left to my own devices
I barely know where to begin.
I could keep laying here for hours,
reaching for her lips.
Dreaming of a world without ambition,
leaving skin on skin.
Nothing to lose,
and never to fear
people moving past
and leaving me there
to rot.
It’d be so much easier
with her around to call me out,
drag me by the collar
to the here and now.
Undisciplined skin
stuck on hold,
waiting for her
to finally take
complete control.
Hand over hand,
steadily up.
Colour returns
with a quickened pulse,
up and over and out of this rut.
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8. |
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They all start to run together
on a sunny day in June,
the kids all out for blood
because there's nothing else to do.
Bones all bend, enter the ring
clothes gone unwashed for a month.
The coach doesn't lift a finger
'til he's sure they've had enough.
The boys all watch
each other changing,
and pretend they’re not in love.
Some long to say the words,
some hope it never does come up.
If there's anything that's ever
made me think twice
about the violence in my youth.
About the hits we brace to brave
that leave the dirty cuts and bruises.
Well it's a second past the bell,
and eye to eye to still the room-
two children overwhelmed
often both too scared to move.
Training sets in,
you snap to senses.
Seek to touch,
harden the skin-
do you fall back on your defences,
or rely on quick reflexes?
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9. |
Surface World
03:35
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It was suddenly above us,
looming over everything.
Murmur in the hearts,
rumbling from the dark
got the glass shaking in its frames.
Helpless rage, surrounded,
with our lashing all starting to slip.
No shelter from the sky
we were lying supine,
laughing at the face of it-
just another way to keep on living.
Minute to minute, whatever it takes.
Better now to have us here,
taking in the scene.
A sunny season out
in a panorama town
and we’re higher
than we’ve ever been.
Pressing palms to steady us,
swaying like ripened fruit.
She said ‘it just won’t do
to go back there,
after living up here with you;’
One day I will go under too,
free from love and higher truth.
I’ll sink down lower
than they thought I could,
free from the surface world.
It’s true we can’t escape,
we’re left to make peace with it,
to fairly meet the end.
‘The next time we get together’
fair warning,
‘I won’t settle for a cheap goodbye.
Every question sorted,
no more cutting any corners
while we’re limping for the finish line.’
One day I will go under too,
free from any follow through.
I’ll sink down lower
than they thought I could,
far below the surface world
I’ll go.
Nothing’s harder to face alone.
sometimes it feels
like an empty journey
with destination unknown.
One day I will go under too,
free from heaven and higher truth.
I’ll sink down lower,
but right this moment
it’s time for me to face
the truth we can’t escape,
all the consequences
of the mess we made.
Left to make amends,
to freely greet the end.
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10. |
Survival
03:03
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Held a sodden breath,
every muscle tensed.
Shower running cold
over aching shoulders
‘til the dread lets up
and you buckle forward.
Then you’re slipping out
through the ash and smoke.
Slow leak siphoning the engine oil,
trace a crude path everywhere you go.
Everything you do,
everything you touch,
everyone you love
gets used up.
It’s a brutal business
and it lays you low,
like a condom wrapper
on a service road.
A face you can’t forget,
the 19th honourable grifter skid.
Treaty 8 burns a tarry lung;
the king and the land are one.
Burn with all your might
against a pipeline’s civil rights.
A coughing fit, a motion to buy in,
while blaming us for fostering
a hostile climate?
Everything they do
everything they touch,
a disposable mindset,
we may never survive it.
Fight like a dying species
rejecting parasitic scum,
before everyone you love
gets used up.
In a capital sick with greed
it can already feel too late, I know,
but we can’t falter now
this fight’s not ours to postpone.
Everything they do,
everything they touch,
a disposable mindset-
may they never survive it.
Fight like a dying species
rejecting parasitic scum,
before everyone you love
gets used up.
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Wares Edmonton, Alberta
Wares is a heavy pop band from amiskwacîy, Treaty 6 territory. Their music is loud, dreamy, rough at the edges, fully live.
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